Her kommer enda en herlig tekst, denne gangen til deg som har en søn. Den er skrevet av Tabitha med bloggen Team Studer. (Jeg har redigert den litt).
25 Rules for Mothers of Sons:
1. Teach him the words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is, so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.
He might tell you to stop. He might say he's embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.
3. Teach him how to do laundry
..and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.
Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents." Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. It doesn't have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.
The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like Batman and Superman) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he also knows about men who kick ass because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)
You already are all of those things.
because its nice. and it will make the world a little better of a place.
Have a loving relationship and show him what a great relationship could be like. Then you will make it a lot easier for him to go out and make his own.
like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.
13. Learn how to throw a football
or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears or what ever he has a passion for. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.
turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Explore his world, and let him ask the questions. And feel the magic.
Losing sucks. Everybody isn't always a winner. Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't. He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again.....) Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose. But that doesn't mean you ever give up.
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and he will follow.
This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. Practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.
Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.
...without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.' If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.
drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water. Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff. And then you'll be sorry.
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.
23. Take him to new places
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.
24. Kiss him and tell him you love him
Kiss them when they're 2 months and kiss them when they're 16 years old. You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it. And allways tell him you love him.
You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little further and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.